You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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