Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
