i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
