maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
