I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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