I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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