Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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