I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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