Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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