South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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