this beer tastes like vomit already
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
