I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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