What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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