He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
