Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
