Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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