too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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