but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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