I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
