you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
