kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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