its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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