Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
