I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
