So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
