I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
