dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
