Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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