If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
