I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
