Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
