I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
