So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I didn't shave. On purpose
okay pat passed out under dana's car
one might say we're banned from that church
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
