the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
