He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
