based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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