I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize