If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am one with the molecules
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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