so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
