I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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