when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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