Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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