y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
