I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We have so much sex to catch up on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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