it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you had me at cake vodka
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
