Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
