What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
