Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
