whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
