You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
