is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
