Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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