Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
