She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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